INT. BEDROOM – THE NIGHT BEFORE THE ACT OR SAT
RICH sits at a desk covered with ACT and SAT related paraphernalia, several pencils, two calculators. His hair is tussled, and he is clearly agitated.
He suddenly picks up his phone and dials.
CUT TO INT. BEDROOM – MOMENTS LATER
ALBERT, resting comfortably in bed, reads A-List’s Book of Knowledge. Upon hearing the phone ring, he answers it.
ALBERT
Hello?
CUTTING FROM ALBERT TO RICH
RICH
Yo bro, I’m freaking out! What about you?
ALBERT
About what?
RICH
The test tomorrow, stupid!
ALBERT
Oh, that.
RICH
You mean you’re not nervous?
ALBERT
Well, I’m a little apprehensive: I do need a pretty good score to qualify for that scholarship. But, I’m ready. I know everything in A-List’s Book of Knowledge. And, I even studied those additional words John gave us.
RICH
Who’s John?
ALBERT
Our teacher for the ACT and SAT!
RICH
You call him by his first name?
ALBERT
You don’t?
RICH
No way. He told me to call him Master Teacher. And, what additional words? He didn’t give me any additional words.
ALBERT
Oh. Uh. Well, he probably thought that given the already egregious dearth in your vocabulary, any further augmentation would have been unwarranted and perhaps even deleterious.
RICH
Speak English!!!
ALBERT
Nevermind.
RICH
Come on, bro. Help me out! What can I do to prepare for this thing?
ALBERT
Nothing. Remember what John said?
RICH
Obviously not. I didn’t do a thing in that class.
ALBERT
Well, you really should have. And, John was a great teacher.
RICH
So, what did Master Teacher say?
ALBERT
He said that if you have to study the night before the test, then it’s too late.
RICH
That’s it? That’s all you got for me? Too bad – so sad? Thanks a lot! How opportunistic of you.
ALBERT
Uh, I think you mean altruistic.
RICH
No. I think I mean you are stupidistic.
ALBERT
Listen don’t place the onus for your lack of assiduousness on me. You’ve had months to prepare, but you squandered them. Now you must pay the price for your flippancy.
RICH
Onusnessness? Squander? Flipper? Who do you think you are with these big words?
ALBERT
Remember what John said?
RICH
I told you: I didn’t do a thing in that class.
ALBERT
Well, he said that there are no big words, just small minds.
RICH
You calling my mind small? You know what? I don’t need you!
ALBERT
You’re right. You don’t need me.
What you need is a miracle and to register for the next ACT and SAT because you obviously won’t do well tomorrow!
DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!
This blog post was written by A-List Director of Staff & Curriculum Development, John Oh.